Start talking

This is a simple guide. You can either follow the steps below or do it you own way. Do what feels right for you.

1. Decide

Who is going to say what, when and where.
2. Rehearse

Rehearse & Think about what you want to say and say it out loud. In front a mirror or to a friend/partner.
3. Prepare answers

Prepare answers & practice answering difficult questions
4. Timing

Choose a time when you feel ready, calm and prepared. Earlier the better as your child will begin to notice changes around them.
Not before bedtime. Weekend is good as lots of time to process/ask questions.
5. Be Together

Tell siblings at the same time. Start talking with your partner, if you have one, or a friend/family member your child trusts.
6. No interruptions

Find a quiet time when you won't be interrupted. Put phones away, turn off the TV.
7. Chunks of information

Share your news in stages, gradually build up in small bits of information over time so your child is not overwhelmed.
8. Be honest

Give them an accurate picture of what is happening and tell them you may not know all the answers. Use words that a child will understand. Don’t use confusing terms.
9. Be directed by your child

Let your child take the lead as they may already know more than you realise. Don’t assume they have the same fears as you. Be prepared to talk about the same information repeatedly over days, weeks and months.
8. Language

Use words that a child will understand. Don’t use confusing terms.

Tips

Timing

Try not to talk to your children before bedtime. The weekends are good as there is more time to process information and ask questions.
Sitting beside them

It is comforting for your child if you sit at the same level as them, e.g. on the floor, or the sofa. Hold hands and try to be physically close to them.
Show your emotions

Crying in front of your child is good as it shows them that it is normal, and gives them permission to do the same
Use resources

Try different types like books, apps and websites (see list below) to help you. It can be good to fiddle and look at something whilst talking.